“No major changes in the first year” is a common suggestion for newcomers in AA.It means holding off on moving, changing jobs, starting a relationship, etc. If these things don’t work out—or even if they do—change can drive people to drink or use again. And I’m glad I didn’t: Dating in my first year helped me find the love of my life. My drinking and drug use escalated so quickly in college that my life seemed in danger of becoming a cautionary tale.
Mike* was in an acting company with me, and we had shared a brief, passionate, tumultuous relationship. Then, like so, so many others before you, you are probably already on the lookout for a new boyfriend or girlfriend.Ideally, you will give yourself some time in sobriety to get your feet under you and focus on your own recovery before you dip your feet in the dating pool.So you’ve roped together a few days or weeks of sobriety and you are starting to feel human again.Maybe you’re riding the pink cloud and it feels like nothing can stop you.